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Do witches run spell checkers?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

How did a fool and his money get together?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting?

If athletes get athletes foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? –Dennis Miller

If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

Now that MicroSoft is so big, should it be called MacroSoft?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?

What happened to the first 6 UP's?

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

When you put a sheet over your head for Halloween, are you a ghost or a mattress?

Where is Old Zealand?

Why are they called "stands" when they’re made for sitting?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?

Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated?

Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things?

Why do you feet smell and your nose runs?

Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?

Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape?

Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why don’t you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why get even, when you can get odd?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? –Lily Tomlin

Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag?

Some Gems

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light" ?

12. Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites?

14. Why do 'overlook and 'oversee' mean opposite things?

15. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set, when you only get one?

27. Why is it when you use a shovel, you're shoveling, when you use a rake, you're raking, but when you use a broom, you're sweeping

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Copyright © 2002 Kauer's Korner
Last modified:    April 2013