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Ollie and Ice Cream


Ice Cream

Lynn: Ollie, have you started Christmas shopping yet?

Ollie: Yup

Lynn: You have! Tell me, who have you been shopping for?

Ollie: Crystal

Lynn: Really! Why did you start with shopping for Crystal?

Ollie: Cuz sheís ticked at me.

Lynn: Well Iím sure she will forgive you. Tell me, what did you buy her?

Ollie: Ice cream.

Lynn: Ice cream!

Ollie: Yep, I got her some ice cream.

Lynn: Well that is really nice. What kind did you get her?

Ollie: Nilla

Lynn: Nilla?

Ollie: Yeah, nilla.

Lynn: You mean vanilla donít you.

Ollie: Thatís what I said, nilla.

Lynn: Ollie, why donít you say vanilla.

Ollie: (slowly and frustrated) Cuz I donít know how to say vanilla.

Lynn: But you just said it.

Ollie: Said what?

Lynn: Vanilla

Ollie: Right, nilla

Lynn: Oh, forget it. What else did you get?

Ollie: Chocolate.

Lynn: Chocolate ice cream?

Ollie: Yeh, chocolate.

Lynn: Why?

Ollie: Cuz I like chocolate.

Lynn: Ollie, how much ice cream did you buy?

Ollie: A hundred gallons.

Lynn: A hundred gallons!

Ollie: Yep.

Lynn: Why did you buy a hundred gallons of ice cream?

Ollie: Cuz I like ice cream.

Lynn: Ollie, stop to think for a moment. We havenít got room to keep a hundred gallons of ice cream. We only have a refrigerator with a small freezer. We donít have a big freezer.

Ollie: You will tomorrow.

Lynn: What do you mean, we will tomorrow?

Ollie: I got a freezer too.

Lynn: Well where do you think we are going to put this freezer?

Ollie: In my room.

Lynn: Your room?

Ollie: Yup.

Lynn: Why.

Ollie: Cuz, I like ice cream.

Lynn: Now letís talk about this for a minute. How much did you pay for the ice cream?

Ollie: Ten dollars a gallon.

Lynn: Ten dollars a gallon! Why did you pay ten dollars a gallon for ice cream?

Ollie: Cuz I got it on sale.

Lynn: And the freezer, how much did that cost?

Ollie: Three thousand dollars.

Lynn: Three thousand dollars for a freezer! Why did you pay that?

Ollie: Cuz I got it on sale.

Lynn: Ollie, thatís terrible. You only make $200 dollars a month on your pension.

Ollie: $210.

Lynn: Letís think this one through Ollie. Youíre telling me that you bought 100 gallons of ice cream at ten dollars a gallon.

Ollie: Yup

Lynn: And you also bought a freezer for three thousand dollars.

Ollie: Yup.

Lynn: Thatís four thousand dollars!

Ollie: Yup.

Lynn: Do you realize how long it is going to take to pay off $4,000 with your pension of only $210 a month.

Ollie: Itís paid for.

Lynn: Itís paid for? Ollie, you donít have any money saved. How did you pay for it.

Ollie: I used your credit card.

Lynn: My credit card! Why?

Ollie: Well, you werenít using it.

Lynn: Ollie, who gave you permission to use my credit card?

Ollie: The dog.

Lynn: The dog?

Ollie: Yup.

Lynn: How did Heidi, our dog, give you permission to use my credit card.

Ollie: Well, I looked at her and said, "Heidi, can I use Lynnís credit card to buy ice cream and a freezer? She wagged her tail, and that meant yes."

Lynn: Ollie, she doesnít know what to do with a credit card.

Ollie: She does now.

Lynn: Iím afraid to ask, how does she know now?

Ollie: She ate it.

Lynn: What, she ate my credit card?

Ollie: Yup.

Lynn: Now what am I going to do? I donít have a credit card anymore.

Ollie: You do now.

Lynn: What do you mean, I do now.

Ollie: I got you a new card with more money in it.

Lynn: Why?

Ollie: So I can get more ice cream.

Lynn: Ollie, now tell me truthfully. You didnít really buy a hundred gallons of ice cream did you?

Ollie: (shaking head) Nope.

Lynn: Thank goodness. What did you really buy.

Ollie: Two hundred gallons.

Lynn: Whoa, two hundred gallons. Why?

Ollie: Cuz I like ice cream.

Lynn: Well Iím going to have to something to straighten this mess out. Ollie, tell me, are you going to get me a present.

Ollie: Do you like chocolate ice cream?

Lynn: No, I donít like chocolate ice cream.

Ollie: Youíre not gettingí anything.


copyright © 2000, Lynn L. Kauer

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Copyright © 2002 Kauer's Korner
Last modified:    April 2013