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You're Getting Old When

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Getting Old or Old Age Is

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out...

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun - and fun a lot more work.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the dog-gone-est time for a guy to get those odds?

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker, and you can't get it started.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news - the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

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Copyright 2002 Kauer's Korner
Last modified:    April 2013